You never have to pick a side. You get to love both your parents.
You’re not the messenger. Grown-ups should talk to each other.
Being in the middle can look like: carrying messages between houses, being asked who you’d rather live with, hearing one parent say mean things about the other, or feeling like you have to hide that you had fun at the other house.
None of that is your job. It’s okay, and actually healthy, to say "Please talk to Dad about that, not me" or "I don’t want to hear bad stuff about Mom."
If the fighting is constant or you feel unsafe, tell a counselor or another trusted adult. That’s not snitching. That’s getting help.
Things that might help
- Practice one line: "I love you both. Please don’t make me choose."
- Refuse to carry messages. Say "Can you text them yourself?"
- Keep one thing at each house that’s just yours and makes it feel like your place.
If you want to say it out loud
Not sure how to start? You could try:
“I love you both. Please don’t make me pick or pass messages.”
You could say it to a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a counselor, or someone on a free help line.
Things to tell yourself
- I am allowed to love both of my parents.
- I don’t have to pick a side. I can just be their kid.
- My voice matters. I can say what I need.