If a parent has a new partner or new kids around, you might feel left out. That’s a normal feeling.
Nobody can replace you. You’re their kid, always.
A new boyfriend, girlfriend, step-parent or step-siblings can make it feel like there’s less room for you, or like your parent picked a new family. You might feel jealous, angry, or just invisible. All of that is normal.
You don’t have to like new people right away, and you don’t have to call anyone mom or dad. Being polite is fair to ask of you; pretending to be happy isn’t.
It’s okay to ask for one-on-one time with your parent, just the two of you. That’s not selfish. It reminds you both that your relationship is still its own thing.
Things that might help
- Ask your parent for regular time alone together, even just a walk or a drive.
- Tell your parent if things with the new partner are moving too fast for you.
- Find one small thing you don’t mind about the new person. You don’t have to like them, just give it time.
- Talk to someone outside the family about how it really feels.
If you want to say it out loud
Not sure how to start? You could try:
“Sometimes I feel left out since they came along. Can we have some time that’s just us?”
You could say it to a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a counselor, or someone on a free help line.
Things to tell yourself
- I am worth showing up for.
- No one can replace me. I am their kid, always.
- My voice matters. I can say what I need.